To The Land of Long Lost Friends by Alexander McCall Smith, 224 pages

Mma Ramotswe reconnects with an old friend who has been having problems with her daughter. Though Previous feels compelled to lend a hand, she discovers that getting involved in family affairs is always a delicate proposion. Mr. J.L.B. Matekoni finds himself embroiled in familial drama as well, when one of his clients asks for help evicting an unwanted houseguest who turns out to be the man's own brother.
Elsewhere, Charlie and Fanwell are also involved in tricky matters of the heart, as Queenie-Queenie, Charlie's girlfriend, seems to have transferred her affections to Fanwell. It's up to Mma Makutsi to set things right, but she may be be too distracted by her nemesis Violet Sephotho, who has somehow been appointed to the board of a charity. What is Violet up to now? As all of these mysteries are unraveled, Mma Ramotswe and the entire No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency will be reminded of the value of tried-and-true wisdom--never judge a book by its cover.Mma Ramotswe reconnects with an old friend who has been having problems with her daughter. Though Previous feels compelled to lend a hand, she discovers that getting involved in family affairs is always a delicate proposion. Mr. J.L.B. Matekoni finds himself embroiled in familial drama as well, when one of his clients asks for help evicting an unwanted houseguest who turns out to be the man's own brother.
Elsewhere, Charlie and Fanwell are also involved in tricky matters of the heart, as Queenie-Queenie, Charlie's girlfriend, seems to have transferred her affections to Fanwell. It's up to Mma Makutsi to set things right, but she may be be too distracted by her nemesis Violet Sephotho, who has somehow been appointed to the board of a charity. What is Violet up to now? As all of these mysteries are unraveled, Mma Ramotswe and the entire No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency will be reminded of the value of tried-and-true wisdom--never judge a book by its cover.Mma Ramotswe reconnects with an old friend who has been having problems with her daughter. Though Previous feels compelled to lend a hand, she discovers that getting involved in family affairs is always a delicate proposion. Mr. J.L.B. Matekoni finds himself embroiled in familial drama as well, when one of his clients asks for help evicting an unwanted houseguest who turns out to be the man's own brother.
Elsewhere, Charlie and Fanwell are also involved in tricky matters of the heart, as Queenie-Queenie, Charlie's girlfriend, seems to have transferred her affections to Fanwell. It's up to Mma Makutsi to set things right, but she may be be too distracted by her nemesis Violet Sephotho, who has somehow been appointed to the board of a charity. What is Violet up to now? As all of these mysteries are unraveled, Mma Ramotswe and the entire No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency will be reminded of the value of tried-and-true wisdom--never judge a book by its cover. Mma Ramotswe reconnects with an old friend who has been having problems with her daughter. Though Previous feels compelled to lend a hand, she discovers that getting involved in family affairs is always a delicate proposion. Mr. J.L.B. Matekoni finds himself embroiled in familial drama as well, when one of his clients asks for help evicting an unwanted houseguest who turns out to be the man's own brother.
Elsewhere, Charlie and Fanwell are also involved in tricky matters of the heart, as Queenie-Queenie, Charlie's girlfriend, seems to have transferred her affections to Fanwell. It's up to Mma Makutsi to set things right, but she may be be too distracted by her nemesis Violet Sephotho, who has somehow been appointed to the board of a charity. What is Violet up to now? As all of these mysteries are unraveled, Mma Ramotswe and the entire No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency will be reminded of the value of tried-and-true wisdom--never judge a book by its cover.Mma Ramotswe reconnects with an old friend who has been having problems with her daughter. Though Previous feels compelled to lend a hand, she discovers that getting involved in family affairs is always a delicate proposion. Mr. J.L.B. Matekoni finds himself embroiled in familial drama as well, when one of his clients asks for help evicting an unwanted houseguest who turns out to be the man's own brother.
Elsewhere, Charlie and Fanwell are also involved in tricky matters of the heart, as Queenie-Queenie, Charlie's girlfriend, seems to have transferred her affections to Fanwell. It's up to Mma Makutsi to set things right, but she may be be too distracted by her nemesis Violet Sephotho, who has somehow been appointed to the board of a charity. What is Violet up to now? As all of these mysteries are unraveled, Mma Ramotswe and the entire No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency will be reminded of the value of tried-and-true wisdom--never judge a book by its cover.Mma Ramotswe reconnects with an old friend who has been having problems with her daughter. Though Previous feels compelled to lend a hand, she discovers that getting involved in family affairs is always a delicate proposion. Mr. J.L.B. Matekoni finds himself embroiled in familial drama as well, when one of his clients asks for help evicting an unwanted houseguest who turns out to be the man's own brother.
Elsewhere, Charlie and Fanwell are also involved in tricky matters of the heart, as Queenie-Queenie, Charlie's girlfriend, seems to have transferred her affections to Fanwell. It's up to Mma Makutsi to set things right, but she may be be too distracted by her nemesis Violet Sephotho, who has somehow been appointed to the board of a charity. What is Violet up to now? As all of these mysteries are unraveled, Mma Ramotswe and the entire No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency will be reminded of the value of tried-and-true wisdom--never judge a book by its cover.

American Princess: A Novel of First Daughter Alice Roosevelt by Stephanie Marie Thornton, 432 pages

A sweeping novel from renowned author Stephanie Marie Thornton...

Alice may be the president's daughter, but she's nobody's darling. As bold as her signature color Alice Blue, the gum-chewing, cigarette-smoking, poker-playing First Daughter discovers that the only way for a woman to stand out in Washington is to make waves--oceans of them. With the canny sophistication of the savviest politician on the Hill, Alice uses her celebrity to her advantage, testing the limits of her power and the seductive thrill of political entanglements.

But Washington, DC is rife with heartaches and betrayals, and when Alice falls hard for a smooth-talking congressman it will take everything this rebel has to emerge triumphant and claim her place as an American icon. As Alice soldiers through the devastation of two world wars and brazens out a cutting feud with her famous Roosevelt cousins, it's no wonder everyone in the capital refers to her as the Other Washington Monument--and Alice intends to outlast them all. A sweeping novel from renowned author Stephanie Marie Thornton...

Alice may be the president's daughter, but she's nobody's darling. As bold as her signature color Alice Blue, the gum-chewing, cigarette-smoking, poker-playing First Daughter discovers that the only way for a woman to stand out in Washington is to make waves--oceans of them. With the canny sophistication of the savviest politician on the Hill, Alice uses her celebrity to her advantage, testing the limits of her power and the seductive thrill of political entanglements.

But Washington, DC is rife with heartaches and betrayals, and when Alice falls hard for a smooth-talking congressman it will take everything this rebel has to emerge triumphant and claim her place as an American icon. As Alice soldiers through the devastation of two world wars and brazens out a cutting feud with her famous Roosevelt cousins, it's no wonder everyone in the capital refers to her as the Other Washington Monument--and Alice intends to outlast them all. A sweeping novel from renowned author Stephanie Marie Thornton...

Alice may be the president's daughter, but she's nobody's darling. As bold as her signature color Alice Blue, the gum-chewing, cigarette-smoking, poker-playing First Daughter discovers that the only way for a woman to stand out in Washington is to make waves--oceans of them. With the canny sophistication of the savviest politician on the Hill, Alice uses her celebrity to her advantage, testing the limits of her power and the seductive thrill of political entanglements.

But Washington, DC is rife with heartaches and betrayals, and when Alice falls hard for a smooth-talking congressman it will take everything this rebel has to emerge triumphant and claim her place as an American icon. As Alice soldiers through the devastation of two world wars and brazens out a cutting feud with her famous Roosevelt cousins, it's no wonder everyone in the capital refers to her as the Other Washington Monument--and Alice intends to outlast them all.A sweeping novel from renowned author Stephanie Marie Thornton...

Alice may be the president's daughter, but she's nobody's darling. As bold as her signature color Alice Blue, the gum-chewing, cigarette-smoking, poker-playing First Daughter discovers that the only way for a woman to stand out in Washington is to make waves--oceans of them. With the canny sophistication of the savviest politician on the Hill, Alice uses her celebrity to her advantage, testing the limits of her power and the seductive thrill of political entanglements.

But Washington, DC is rife with heartaches and betrayals, and when Alice falls hard for a smooth-talking congressman it will take everything this rebel has to emerge triumphant and claim her place as an American icon. As Alice soldiers through the devastation of two world wars and brazens out a cutting feud with her famous Roosevelt cousins, it's no wonder everyone in the capital refers to her as the Other Washington Monument--and Alice intends to outlast them all.A sweeping novel from renowned author Stephanie Marie Thornton...

Alice may be the president's daughter, but she's nobody's darling. As bold as her signature color Alice Blue, the gum-chewing, cigarette-smoking, poker-playing First Daughter discovers that the only way for a woman to stand out in Washington is to make waves--oceans of them. With the canny sophistication of the savviest politician on the Hill, Alice uses her celebrity to her advantage, testing the limits of her power and the seductive thrill of political entanglements.

But Washington, DC is rife with heartaches and betrayals, and when Alice falls hard for a smooth-talking congressman it will take everything this rebel has to emerge triumphant and claim her place as an American icon. As Alice soldiers through the devastation of two world wars and brazens out a cutting feud with her famous Roosevelt cousins, it's no wonder everyone in the capital refers to her as the Other Washington Monument--and Alice intends to outlast them all.

Imperial Woman by Pearl S. Buck, 402 pages

Imperial Woman is the fictionalized biography of the last Empress in China, Ci-xi, who began as a concubine of the Xianfeng Emperor and on his death became the de facto head of the Qing Dynasty until her death in 1908.Buck recreates the life of one of the most intriguing rulers during a time of intense turbulence.Tzu Hsi was born into one of the lowly ranks of the Imperial dynasty. According to custom, she moved to the Forbidden City at the age of seventeen to become one of hundreds of concubines. But her singular beauty and powers of manipulation quickly moved her into the position of Second Consort.Tzu Hsi was feared and hated by many in the court, but adored by the people. The Empress's rise to power (even during her husband's life) parallels the story of China's transition from the ancient to the modern way.

House of Salt and Sorrows by Erin A. Craig, 403 pages

In a manor by the sea, twelve sisters are cursed.

Annaleigh lives a sheltered life at Highmoor, a manor by the sea, with her sisters, their father, and stepmother. Once they were twelve, but loneliness fills the grand halls now that four of the girls' lives have been cut short. Each death was more tragic than the last—the plague, a plummeting fall, a drowning, a slippery plunge—and there are whispers throughout the surrounding villages that the family is cursed by the gods.

Disturbed by a series of ghostly visions, Annaleigh becomes increasingly suspicious that the deaths were no accidents. Her sisters have been sneaking out every night to attend glittering balls, dancing until dawn in silk gowns and shimmering slippers, and Annaleigh isn't sure whether to try to stop them or to join their forbidden trysts. Because who—or what—are they really dancing with?

When Annaleigh's involvement with a mysterious stranger who has secrets of his own intensifies, it's a race to unravel the darkness that has fallen over her family—before it claims her next.

Hollow Kingdom by Kira Jane Buxton, 320 pages

S.T., a domesticated crow, is a bird of simple pleasures: hanging out with his owner Big Jim, trading insults with Seattle's wild crows (those idiots), and enjoying the finest food humankind has to offer: Cheetos ®.

Then Big Jim's eyeball falls out of his head, and S.T. starts to feel like something isn't quite right. His most tried-and-true remedies--from beak-delivered beer to the slobbering affection of Big Jim's loyal but dim-witted dog, Dennis--fail to cure Big Jim's debilitating malady. S.T. is left with no choice but to abandon his old life and venture out into a wild and frightening new world with his trusty steed Dennis, where he discovers that the neighbors are devouring each other and the local wildlife is abuzz with rumors of dangerous new predators roaming Seattle. Humanity's extinction has seemingly arrived, and the only one determined to save it is a foul-mouthed crow whose knowledge of the world around him comes from his TV-watching education.

Hollow Kingdom is a humorous, big-hearted, and boundlessly beautiful romp through the apocalypse and the world that comes after, where even a cowardly crow can become a hero.

The Giver of Stars by Jojo Moyes, 387 pages

Alice Wright marries handsome American Bennett Van Cleve hoping to escape her stifling life in England. But small-town Kentucky quickly proves equally claustrophobic, especially living alongside her overbearing father-in-law. So when a call goes out for a team of women to deliver books as part of Eleanor Roosevelt’s new traveling library, Alice signs on enthusiastically.

The leader, and soon Alice’s greatest ally, is Margery, a smart-talking, self-sufficient woman who’s never asked a man’s permission for anything. They will be joined by three other singular women who become known as the Horseback Librarians of Kentucky.

What happens to them—and to the men they love—becomes a classic drama of loyalty, justice, humanity and passion. Though they face all kinds of dangers, they’re committed to their job—bringing books to people who have never had any, sharing the gift of learning that will change their lives.

Based on a true story rooted in America’s past, The Giver of Stars is unparalleled in its scope. At times funny, at others heartbreaking, this is a richly rewarding novel of women’s friendship, of true love, and of what happens when we reach beyond our grasp for the great beyond.

Two For the Dough by Janet Evanovich, 312 pages

Stephanie Plum is back on the trail of Kenny Mancusco, a boy from the working-class burg of Trenton, New Jersey, who has just shot his best friend. Fresh out of the Army and suspiciously wealthy, Mancusco's also distantly related to Joe Morelli, a vice cop with questionable ethics, a libido in permanent overdrive, and a habit of horning in on Stephanie's investigations.

Aided by her tough bounty hunter pal, Ranger, and her funeral-happy Grandma Mazur, Stephanie's soon staggering knee-deep in corpses, trying to shake Morelli...and stirring up a very nasty enemy.

The Lady and the Highwayman by Sarah M. Eden, 344 pages

Elizabeth Black is the headmistress of a girls’ school and a well-respected author of “silver-fork” novels, stories written both for and about the upper-class ladies of Victorian society. But by night, she writes very different kinds of stories—the Penny Dreadfuls that are all the rage among the working-class men. Under the pseudonym Mr. King, Elizabeth has written about dashing heroes fighting supernatural threats and dangerous outlaws romancing helpless women. They contain all the adventure and mystery that her real life lacks.
 
Fletcher Walker began life as a street urchin, but is now the most successful author in the Penny Dreadful market, that is until Mr. King started taking all of his readers--and his profits. No one knows who King is, including Fletcher’s fellow members of the Dread Penny Society, a fraternity of authors dedicated to secretly fighting for the rights of the less-fortunate.
 
Determined to find the elusive Mr. King, Fletcher approaches Miss Black. As a fellow-author, she is well-known among the high-class writers; perhaps she could be persuaded to make some inquiries as to Mr. King’s whereabouts? Elizabeth agrees to help Fletcher, if only to insure her secret identity is never discovered. 
 
For the first time, Elizabeth experiences the thrill of a cat-and-mouse adventure reminiscent of one of her own novels as she tries to throw Fletcher off her scent. But the more time they spend together, the more she loses her heart. Its upper-class against working-class, author against author where readers, reputations, and romance are all on the line.

The Nickel Boys by Colson Whitehead, 224 pages

Colson Whitehead brilliantly dramatizes another strand of American history through the story of two boys sentenced to a hellish reform school in Jim Crow-era Florida.

As the Civil Rights movement begins to reach the black enclave of Frenchtown in segregated Tallahassee, Elwood Curtis takes the words of Dr. Martin Luther King to heart: He is "as good as anyone." Abandoned by his parents, but kept on the straight and narrow by his grandmother, Elwood is about to enroll in the local black college. But for a black boy in the Jim Crow South in the early 1960s, one innocent mistake is enough to destroy the future. Elwood is sentenced to a juvenile reformatory called The Nickel Academy, whose mission statement says it provides "physical, intellectual and moral training" so the delinquent boys in their charge can become "honorable and honest men."

In reality, The Nickel Academy is a grotesque chamber of horrors, where the sadistic staff beats and sexually abuses the students, corrupt officials and locals steal food and supplies, and any boy who resists is likely to disappear "out back." Stunned to find himself in such a vicious environment, Elwood tries to hold on to Dr. King's ringing assertion "Throw us in jail and we will still love you." His friend Turner thinks Elwood is worse than naive, that the world is crooked and the only way to survive is to scheme and avoid trouble.

The tension between Elwood's ideals and Turner's skepticism leads to a decision whose repercussions will echo down the decades. Formed in the crucible of the evils Jim Crow wrought, the boys' fates will be determined by what they endured at The Nickel Academy.

Based on the real story of a reform school in Florida that operated for one hundred and eleven years and warped the lives of thousands of children, The Nickel Boys is a devastating, driven narrative.

One For the Money by Janet Evanovich, 287 pages

You've lost your job as a department store lingerie buyer, your car's been repossessed, and most of your furniture and small appliances have been sold off to pay last month's rent. Now the rent is due again. And you live in New Jersey. What do you do?

If you're Stephanie Plum, you become a bounty hunter. But not just a nickel-and-dime bounty hunter; you go after the big money. That means a cop gone bad. And not just any cop. She goes after Joe Morelli, a disgraced former vice cop who is also the man who took Stephanie's virginity at age 16 and then wrote details on a bathroom wall. With pride and rent money on the line, Plum plunges headlong into her first case, one that pits her against ruthless adversaries - people who'd rather kill than lose.

In Stephanie Plum, Evanovich has created a resourceful and humorous character who stands apart from the pack of gritty female detectives.

Cilka's Journey by Heather Morris, 343 pages

Her beauty saved her life - and condemned her.

Cilka is just sixteen years old when she is taken to Auschwitz-Birkenau Concentration Camp, in 1942. The Commandant at Birkenau, Schwarzhuber, notices her long beautiful hair, and forces her separation from the other women prisoners. Cilka learns quickly that power, even unwillingly given, equals survival.

After liberation, Cilka is charged as a collaborator for sleeping with the enemy and sent to Siberia. But what choice did she have? And where did the lines of morality lie for Cilka, who was sent to Auschwitz when still a child?

In a Siberian prison camp, Cilka faces challenges both new and horribly familiar, including the unwanted attention of the guards. But when she makes an impression on a woman doctor, Cilka is taken under her wing. Cilka begins to tend to the ill in the camp, struggling to care for them under brutal conditions.

Cilka finds endless resources within herself as she daily confronts death and faces terror. And when she nurses a man called Ivan, Cilka finds that despite everything that has happened to her, there is room in her heart for love.Her beauty saved her life - and condemned her.

Cilka is just sixteen years old when she is taken to Auschwitz-Birkenau Concentration Camp, in 1942. The Commandant at Birkenau, Schwarzhuber, notices her long beautiful hair, and forces her separation from the other women prisoners. Cilka learns quickly that power, even unwillingly given, equals survival.

After liberation, Cilka is charged as a collaborator for sleeping with the enemy and sent to Siberia. But what choice did she have? And where did the lines of morality lie for Cilka, who was sent to Auschwitz when still a child?

In a Siberian prison camp, Cilka faces challenges both new and horribly familiar, including the unwanted attention of the guards. But when she makes an impression on a woman doctor, Cilka is taken under her wing. Cilka begins to tend to the ill in the camp, struggling to care for them under brutal conditions.

Cilka finds endless resources within herself as she daily confronts death and faces terror. And when she nurses a man called Ivan, Cilka finds that despite everything that has happened to her, there is room in her heart for love.

Her beauty saved her life - and condemned her.

Cilka is just sixteen years old when she is taken to Auschwitz-Birkenau Concentration Camp, in 1942. The Commandant at Birkenau, Schwarzhuber, notices her long beautiful hair, and forces her separation from the other women prisoners. Cilka learns quickly that power, even unwillingly given, equals survival.

After liberation, Cilka is charged as a collaborator for sleeping with the enemy and sent to Siberia. But what choice did she have? And where did the lines of morality lie for Cilka, who was sent to Auschwitz when still a child?

In a Siberian prison camp, Cilka faces challenges both new and horribly familiar, including the unwanted attention of the guards. But when she makes an impression on a woman doctor, Cilka is taken under her wing. Cilka begins to tend to the ill in the camp, struggling to care for them under brutal conditions.

Cilka finds endless resources within herself as she daily confronts death and faces terror. And when she nurses a man called Ivan, Cilka finds that despite everything that has happened to her, there is room in her heart for love.

Her beauty saved her life - and condemned her.

Cilka is just sixteen years old when she is taken to Auschwitz-Birkenau Concentration Camp, in 1942. The Commandant at Birkenau, Schwarzhuber, notices her long beautiful hair, and forces her separation from the other women prisoners. Cilka learns quickly that power, even unwillingly given, equals survival.

After liberation, Cilka is charged as a collaborator for sleeping with the enemy and sent to Siberia. But what choice did she have? And where did the lines of morality lie for Cilka, who was sent to Auschwitz when still a child?

In a Siberian prison camp, Cilka faces challenges both new and horribly familiar, including the unwanted attention of the guards. But when she makes an impression on a woman doctor, Cilka is taken under her wing. Cilka begins to tend to the ill in the camp, struggling to care for them under brutal conditions.

Cilka finds endless resources within herself as she daily confronts death and faces terror. And when she nurses a man called Ivan, Cilka finds that despite everything that has happened to her, there is room in her heart for love.

Her beauty saved her life - and condemned her.

Cilka is just sixteen years old when she is taken to Auschwitz-Birkenau Concentration Camp, in 1942. The Commandant at Birkenau, Schwarzhuber, notices her long beautiful hair, and forces her separation from the other women prisoners. Cilka learns quickly that power, even unwillingly given, equals survival.

After liberation, Cilka is charged as a collaborator for sleeping with the enemy and sent to Siberia. But what choice did she have? And where did the lines of morality lie for Cilka, who was sent to Auschwitz when still a child?

In a Siberian prison camp, Cilka faces challenges both new and horribly familiar, including the unwanted attention of the guards. But when she makes an impression on a woman doctor, Cilka is taken under her wing. Cilka begins to tend to the ill in the camp, struggling to care for them under brutal conditions.

Cilka finds endless resources within herself as she daily confronts death and faces terror. And when she nurses a man called Ivan, Cilka finds that despite everything that has happened to her, there is room in her heart for love.Her beauty saved her life - and condemned her.

Cilka is just sixteen years old when she is taken to Auschwitz-Birkenau Concentration Camp, in 1942. The Commandant at Birkenau, Schwarzhuber, notices her long beautiful hair, and forces her separation from the other women prisoners. Cilka learns quickly that power, even unwillingly given, equals survival.

After liberation, Cilka is charged as a collaborator for sleeping with the enemy and sent to Siberia. But what choice did she have? And where did the lines of morality lie for Cilka, who was sent to Auschwitz when still a child?

In a Siberian prison camp, Cilka faces challenges both new and horribly familiar, including the unwanted attention of the guards. But when she makes an impression on a woman doctor, Cilka is taken under her wing. Cilka begins to tend to the ill in the camp, struggling to care for them under brutal conditions.

Cilka finds endless resources within herself as she daily confronts death and faces terror. And when she nurses a man called Ivan, Cilka finds that despite everything that has happened to her, there is room in her heart for love.Her beauty saved her life - and condemned her.

Cilka is just sixteen years old when she is taken to Auschwitz-Birkenau Concentration Camp, in 1942. The Commandant at Birkenau, Schwarzhuber, notices her long beautiful hair, and forces her separation from the other women prisoners. Cilka learns quickly that power, even unwillingly given, equals survival.

After liberation, Cilka is charged as a collaborator for sleeping with the enemy and sent to Siberia. But what choice did she have? And where did the lines of morality lie for Cilka, who was sent to Auschwitz when still a child?

In a Siberian prison camp, Cilka faces challenges both new and horribly familiar, including the unwanted attention of the guards. But when she makes an impression on a woman doctor, Cilka is taken under her wing. Cilka begins to tend to the ill in the camp, struggling to care for them under brutal conditions.

Cilka finds endless resources within herself as she daily confronts death and faces terror. And when she nurses a man called Ivan, Cilka finds that despite everything that has happened to her, there is room in her heart for love.Her beauty saved her life - and condemned her.

Cilka is just sixteen years old when she is taken to Auschwitz-Birkenau Concentration Camp, in 1942. The Commandant at Birkenau, Schwarzhuber, notices her long beautiful hair, and forces her separation from the other women prisoners. Cilka learns quickly that power, even unwillingly given, equals survival.

After liberation, Cilka is charged as a collaborator for sleeping with the enemy and sent to Siberia. But what choice did she have? And where did the lines of morality lie for Cilka, who was sent to Auschwitz when still a child?

In a Siberian prison camp, Cilka faces challenges both new and horribly familiar, including the unwanted attention of the guards. But when she makes an impression on a woman doctor, Cilka is taken under her wing. Cilka begins to tend to the ill in the camp, struggling to care for them under brutal conditions.

Cilka finds endless resources within herself as she daily confronts death and faces terror. And when she nurses a man called Ivan, Cilka finds that despite everything that has happened to her, there is room in her heart for love.

Secret Places, Hidden Sanctuaries: Uncovering Mysterious Sights, Symbols, and Societies by Stephen Klimczuk & Gerald Warner of Craigenmaddie, 258 pages

The doors of some of the world’s best-hidden places and most secretive organizations have now been thrown wide open! Some of the names are familiar: Area 51, Yale’s Skull and Bones, Opus Dei, the Esalen Institute. Others are more obscure, hidden by fate or purposeful deception, such as the Mount Weather Emergency Operations Center, the super-secure facility where Vice President Dick Cheney was secreted after the 9/11 attacks, and Germany’s Wewelsburg Castle, which was intended to become the mythological centerpiece of the Nazi Regime. Readers can take an unprecedented look deep inside the off-the-map military installations and shadowy organizations that operate in the murkiest corners of our world.

Village Affairs by Miss Read, 239 pages

The English village of Fairacre may appear idyllically peaceful to passerbys, but those who live among its shady lanes always have problems to untangle. When a terrible rumor emerges - that the Fairacre School is to be closed and the children bused to nearby Beech Green - the village is up in arms at once. The schoolmistress, Miss Read, suffers agonizing indecision at the prospect, and her situation is made worse when her infants' room teacher decides to leave and the short-tempered Mrs. Pringle becomes more contrary than ever.

No Holly for Miss Quinn by Miss Read, 148 pages

Miss Quinn, who cherishes her privacy, intends to spend Christmas on her own as she likes it. But before the holiday, her brother telephones to tell her that his wife has been rushed to the hospital, and would Miss Quinn come and stay with the children? Miss Quinn's unexpectedly hectic Christmas has a significant effect upon her life.

A Terrible Beauty by Tasha Alexander, 287 pages

In this thrilling new novel in the New York Times bestselling series, Lady Emily travels to Greece where a ghost from her past returns to haunt her amid the ruins.

Lady Emily retreats to her villa on the island of Santorini for a brief respite from London. But when she arrives, the housekeeper informs her that the master of the house has returned—Emily’s first husband who died a decade earlier...

Southern Lady Code by Helen Ellis, 203 pages

HelenEllishasamantra:"Ifyoudon'thavesomethingnicetosay,saysomethingnot-so-niceinaniceway."Say"weathered"insteadof"shelookslikeacakeleftoutintherain."Say"early-developed"insteadof"bracefaceandBcups."AndfortheloveofCokeSalad,alwayssay"Sorryyousawsomethingthatoffendedyou"insteadof"Getthatstickoutofyourbutt,MissPrissyPants."Inthesetwenty-threeraucousessaysEllistransformsherselfintoadominatrixDonnaReedtosavehermarriage,inadvertentlystealsa$795Burberrytrenchcoat,witnessesamanfakehisowndeathataparty,avoidsanecklift,andfindsablack-tiegownthatgiveshertheconfidenceofadragqueen.WhileshemayhaveleftherhomeinAlabama,marriedaNewYorker,forgottenhowtodrive,andabandonedthepuffyheadbandsofheryouth,HelenEllisisclingingtoherSouthernaccentlikemayonnaisetowhitebread,andofferingreadersahilarious,completelysingularviewonwomanhoodforbothsidesoftheMason-Dixon.HelenEllishasamantra:"Ifyoudon'thavesomethingnicetosay,saysomethingnot-so-niceinaniceway."Say"weathered"insteadof"shelookslikeacakeleftoutintherain."Say"early-developed"insteadof"bracefaceandBcups."AndfortheloveofCokeSalad,alwayssay"Sorryyousawsomethingthatoffendedyou"insteadof"Getthatstickoutofyourbutt,MissPrissyPants."Inthesetwenty-threeraucousessaysEllistransformsherselfintoadominatrixDonnaReedtosavehermarriage,inadvertentlystealsa$795Burberrytrenchcoat,witnessesamanfakehisowndeathataparty,avoidsanecklift,andfindsablack-tiegownthatgiveshertheconfidenceofadragqueen.WhileshemayhaveleftherhomeinAlabama,marriedaNewYorker,forgottenhowtodrive,andabandonedthepuffyheadbandsofheryouth,HelenEllisisclingingtoherSouthernaccentlikemayonnaisetowhitebread,andofferingreadersahilarious,completelysingularviewonwomanhoodforbothsidesoftheMason-Dixon.HelenEllishasamantra:"Ifyoudon'thavesomethingnicetosay,saysomethingnot-so-niceinaniceway."Say"weathered"insteadof"shelookslikeacakeleftoutintherain."Say"early-developed"insteadof"bracefaceandBcups."AndfortheloveofCokeSalad,alwayssay"Sorryyousawsomethingthatoffendedyou"insteadof"Getthatstickoutofyourbutt,MissPrissyPants."Inthesetwenty-threeraucousessaysEllistransformsherselfintoadominatrixDonnaReedtosavehermarriage,inadvertentlystealsa$795Burberrytrenchcoat,witnessesamanfakehisowndeathataparty,avoidsanecklift,andfindsablack-tiegownthatgiveshertheconfidenceofadragqueen.WhileshemayhaveleftherhomeinAlabama,marriedaNewYorker,forgottenhowtodrive,andabandonedthepuffyheadbandsofheryouth,HelenEllisisclingingtoherSouthernaccentlikemayonnaisetowhitebread,andofferingreadersahilarious,completelysingularviewonwomanhoodforbothsidesoftheMason-Dixon.HelenEllishasamantra:"Ifyoudon'thavesomethingnicetosay,saysomethingnot-so-niceinaniceway."Say"weathered"insteadof"shelookslikeacakeleftoutintherain."Say"early-developed"insteadof"bracefaceandBcups."AndfortheloveofCokeSalad,alwayssay"Sorryyousawsomethingthatoffendedyou"insteadof"Getthatstickoutofyourbutt,MissPrissyPants."Inthesetwenty-threeraucousessaysEllistransformsherselfintoadominatrixDonnaReedtosavehermarriage,inadvertentlystealsa$795Burberrytrenchcoat,witnessesamanfakehisowndeathataparty,avoidsanecklift,andfindsablack-tiegownthatgiveshertheconfidenceofadragqueen.WhileshemayhaveleftherhomeinAlabama,marriedaNewYorker,forgottenhowtodrive,andabandonedthepuffyheadbandsofheryouth,HelenEllisisclingingtoherSouthernaccentlikemayonnaisetowhitebread,andofferingreadersahilarious,completelysingularviewonwomanhoodforbothsidesoftheMason-Dixon.HelenEllishasamantra:"Ifyoudon'thavesomethingnicetosay,saysomethingnot-so-niceinaniceway."Say"weathered"insteadof"shelookslikeacakeleftoutintherain."Say"early-developed"insteadof"bracefaceandBcups."AndfortheloveofCokeSalad,alwayssay"Sorryyousawsomethingthatoffendedyou"insteadof"Getthatstickoutofyourbutt,MissPrissyPants."Inthesetwenty-threeraucousessaysEllistransformsherselfintoadominatrixDonnaReedtosavehermarriage,inadvertentlystealsa$795Burberrytrenchcoat,witnessesamanfakehisowndeathataparty,avoidsanecklift,andfindsablack-tiegownthatgiveshertheconfidenceofadragqueen.WhileshemayhaveleftherhomeinAlabama,marriedaNewYorker,forgottenhowtodrive,andabandonedthepuffyheadbandsofheryouth,HelenEllisisclingingtoherSouthernaccentlikemayonnaisetowhitebread,andofferingreadersahilarious,completelysingularviewonwomanhoodforbothsidesoftheMason-Dixon.HelenEllishasamantra:"Ifyoudon'thavesomethingnicetosay,saysomethingnot-so-niceinaniceway."Say"weathered"insteadof"shelookslikeacakeleftoutintherain."Say"early-developed"insteadof"bracefaceandBcups."AndfortheloveofCokeSalad,alwayssay"Sorryyousawsomethingthatoffendedyou"insteadof"Getthatstickoutofyourbutt,MissPrissyPants."Inthesetwenty-threeraucousessaysEllistransformsherselfintoadominatrixDonnaReedtosavehermarriage,inadvertentlystealsa$795Burberrytrenchcoat,witnessesamanfakehisowndeathataparty,avoidsanecklift,andfindsablack-tiegownthatgiveshertheconfidenceofadragqueen.WhileshemayhaveleftherhomeinAlabama,marriedaNewYorker,forgottenhowtodrive,andabandonedthepuffyheadbandsofheryouth,HelenEllisisclingingtoherSouthernaccentlikemayonnaisetowhitebread,andofferingreadersahilarious,completelysingularviewonwomanhoodforbothsidesoftheMason-Dixon.HelenEllishasamantra:"Ifyoudon'thavesomethingnicetosay,saysomethingnot-so-niceinaniceway."Say"weathered"insteadof"shelookslikeacakeleftoutintherain."Say"early-developed"insteadof"bracefaceandBcups."AndfortheloveofCokeSalad,alwayssay"Sorryyousawsomethingthatoffendedyou"insteadof"Getthatstickoutofyourbutt,MissPrissyPants."Inthesetwenty-threeraucousessaysEllistransformsherselfintoadominatrixDonnaReedtosavehermarriage,inadvertentlystealsa$795Burberrytrenchcoat,witnessesamanfakehisowndeathataparty,avoidsanecklift,andfindsablack-tiegownthatgiveshertheconfidenceofadragqueen.WhileshemayhaveleftherhomeinAlabama,marriedaNewYorker,forgottenhowtodrive,andabandonedthepuffyheadbandsofheryouth,HelenEllisisclingingtoherSouthernaccentlikemayonnaisetowhitebread,andofferingreadersahilarious,completelysingularviewonwomanhoodforbothsidesoftheMason-Dixon.HelenEllishasamantra:"Ifyoudon'thavesomethingnicetosay,saysomethingnot-so-niceinaniceway."Say"weathered"insteadof"shelookslikeacakeleftoutintherain."Say"early-developed"insteadof"bracefaceandBcups."AndfortheloveofCokeSalad,alwayssay"Sorryyousawsomethingthatoffendedyou"insteadof"Getthatstickoutofyourbutt,MissPrissyPants."Inthesetwenty-threeraucousessaysEllistransformsherselfintoadominatrixDonnaReedtosavehermarriage,inadvertentlystealsa$795Burberrytrenchcoat,witnessesamanfakehisowndeathataparty,avoidsanecklift,andfindsablack-tiegownthatgiveshertheconfidenceofadragqueen.WhileshemayhaveleftherhomeinAlabama,marriedaNewYorker,forgottenhowtodrive,andabandonedthepuffyheadbandsofheryouth,HelenEllisisclingingtoherSouthernaccentlikemayonnaisetowhitebread,andofferingreadersahilarious,completelysingularviewonwomanhoodforbothsidesoftheMason-Dixon.HelenEllishasamantra:"Ifyoudon'thavesomethingnicetosay,saysomethingnot-so-niceinaniceway."Say"weathered"insteadof"shelookslikeacakeleftoutintherain."Say"early-developed"insteadof"bracefaceandBcups."AndfortheloveofCokeSalad,alwayssay"Sorryyousawsomethingthatoffendedyou"insteadof"Getthatstickoutofyourbutt,MissPrissyPants."Inthesetwenty-threeraucousessaysEllistransformsherselfintoadominatrixDonnaReedtosavehermarriage,inadvertentlystealsa$795Burberrytrenchcoat,witnessesamanfakehisowndeathataparty,avoidsanecklift,andfindsablack-tiegownthatgiveshertheconfidenceofadragqueen.WhileshemayhaveleftherhomeinAlabama,marriedaNewYorker,forgottenhowtodrive,andabandonedthepuffyheadbandsofheryouth,HelenEllisisclingingtoherSouthernaccentlikemayonnaisetowhitebread,andofferingreadersahilarious,completelysingularviewonwomanhoodforbothsidesoftheMason-Dixon.HelenEllishasamantra:"Ifyoudon'thavesomethingnicetosay,saysomethingnot-so-niceinaniceway."Say"weathered"insteadof"shelookslikeacakeleftoutintherain."Say"early-developed"insteadof"bracefaceandBcups."AndfortheloveofCokeSalad,alwayssay"Sorryyousawsomethingthatoffendedyou"insteadof"Getthatstickoutofyourbutt,MissPrissyPants."Inthesetwenty-threeraucousessaysEllistransformsherselfintoadominatrixDonnaReedtosavehermarriage,inadvertentlystealsa$795Burberrytrenchcoat,witnessesamanfakehisowndeathataparty,avoidsanecklift,andfindsablack-tiegownthatgiveshertheconfidenceofadragqueen.WhileshemayhaveleftherhomeinAlabama,marriedaNewYorker,forgottenhowtodrive,andabandonedthepuffyheadbandsofheryouth,HelenEllisisclingingtoherSouthernaccentlikemayonnaisetowhitebread,andofferingreadersahilarious,completelysingularviewonwomanhoodforbothsidesoftheMason-Dixon.HelenEllishasamantra:"Ifyoudon'thavesomethingnicetosay,saysomethingnot-so-niceinaniceway."Say"weathered"insteadof"shelookslikeacakeleftoutintherain."Say"early-developed"insteadof"bracefaceandBcups."AndfortheloveofCokeSalad,alwayssay"Sorryyousawsomethingthatoffendedyou"insteadof"Getthatstickoutofyourbutt,MissPrissyPants."Inthesetwenty-threeraucousessaysEllistransformsherselfintoadominatrixDonnaReedtosavehermarriage,inadvertentlystealsa$795Burberrytrenchcoat,witnessesamanfakehisowndeathataparty,avoidsanecklift,andfindsablack-tiegownthatgiveshertheconfidenceofadragqueen.WhileshemayhaveleftherhomeinAlabama,marriedaNewYorker,forgottenhowtodrive,andabandonedthepuffyheadbandsofheryouth,HelenEllisisclingingtoherSouthernaccentlikemayonnaisetowhitebread,andofferingreadersahilarious,completelysingularviewonwomanhoodforbothsidesoftheMason-Dixon.HelenEllishasamantra:"Ifyoudon'thavesomethingnicetosay,saysomethingnot-so-niceinaniceway."Say"weathered"insteadof"shelookslikeacakeleftoutintherain."Say"early-developed"insteadof"bracefaceandBcups."AndfortheloveofCokeSalad,alwayssay"Sorryyousawsomethingthatoffendedyou"insteadof"Getthatstickoutofyourbutt,MissPrissyPants."Inthesetwenty-threeraucousessaysEllistransformsherselfintoadominatrixDonnaReedtosavehermarriage,inadvertentlystealsa$795Burberrytrenchcoat,witnessesamanfakehisowndeathataparty,avoidsanecklift,andfindsablack-tiegownthatgiveshertheconfidenceofadragqueen.WhileshemayhaveleftherhomeinAlabama,marriedaNewYorker,forgottenhowtodrive,andabandonedthepuffyheadbandsofheryouth,HelenEllisisclingingtoherSouthernaccentlikemayonnaisetowhitebread,andofferingreadersahilarious,completelysingularviewonwomanhoodforbothsidesoftheMason-Dixon.HelenEllishasamantra:"Ifyoudon'thavesomethingnicetosay,saysomethingnot-so-niceinaniceway."Say"weathered"insteadof"shelookslikeacakeleftoutintherain."Say"early-developed"insteadof"bracefaceandBcups."AndfortheloveofCokeSalad,alwayssay"Sorryyousawsomethingthatoffendedyou"insteadof"Getthatstickoutofyourbutt,MissPrissyPants."Inthesetwenty-threeraucousessaysEllistransformsherselfintoadominatrixDonnaReedtosavehermarriage,inadvertentlystealsa$795Burberrytrenchcoat,witnessesamanfakehisowndeathataparty,avoidsanecklift,andfindsablack-tiegownthatgiveshertheconfidenceofadragqueen.WhileshemayhaveleftherhomeinAlabama,marriedaNewYorker,forgottenhowtodrive,andabandonedthepuffyheadbandsofheryouth,HelenEllisisclingingtoherSouthernaccentlikemayonnaisetowhitebread,andofferingreadersahilarious,completelysingularviewonwomanhoodforbothsidesoftheMason-Dixon.HelenEllishasamantra:"Ifyoudon'thavesomethingnicetosay,saysomethingnot-so-niceinaniceway."Say"weathered"insteadof"shelookslikeacakeleftoutintherain."Say"early-developed"insteadof"bracefaceandBcups."AndfortheloveofCokeSalad,alwayssay"Sorryyousawsomethingthatoffendedyou"insteadof"Getthatstickoutofyourbutt,MissPrissyPants."Inthesetwenty-threeraucousessaysEllistransformsherselfintoadominatrixDonnaReedtosavehermarriage,inadvertentlystealsa$795Burberrytrenchcoat,witnessesamanfakehisowndeathataparty,avoidsanecklift,andfindsablack-tiegownthatgiveshertheconfidenceofadragqueen.WhileshemayhaveleftherhomeinAlabama,marriedaNewYorker,forgottenhowtodrive,andabandonedthepuffyheadbandsofheryouth,HelenEllisisclingingtoherSouthernaccentlikemayonnaisetowhitebread,andofferingreadersahilarious,completelysingularviewonwomanhoodforbothsidesoftheMason-Dixon.HelenEllishasamantra:"Ifyoudon'thavesomethingnicetosay,saysomethingnot-so-niceinaniceway."Say"weathered"insteadof"shelookslikeacakeleftoutintherain."Say"early-developed"insteadof"bracefaceandBcups."AndfortheloveofCokeSalad,alwayssay"Sorryyousawsomethingthatoffendedyou"insteadof"Getthatstickoutofyourbutt,MissPrissyPants."Inthesetwenty-threeraucousessaysEllistransformsherselfintoadominatrixDonnaReedtosavehermarriage,inadvertentlystealsa$795Burberrytrenchcoat,witnessesamanfakehisowndeathataparty,avoidsanecklift,andfindsablack-tiegownthatgiveshertheconfidenceofadragqueen.WhileshemayhaveleftherhomeinAlabama,marriedaNewYorker,forgottenhowtodrive,andabandonedthepuffyheadbandsofheryouth,HelenEllisisclingingtoherSouthernaccentlikemayonnaisetowhitebread,andofferingreadersahilarious,completelysingularviewonwomanhoodforbothsidesoftheMason-Dixon.HelenEllishasamantra:"Ifyoudon'thavesomethingnicetosay,saysomethingnot-so-niceinaniceway."Say"weathered"insteadof"shelookslikeacakeleftoutintherain."Say"early-developed"insteadof"bracefaceandBcups."AndfortheloveofCokeSalad,alwayssay"Sorryyousawsomethingthatoffendedyou"insteadof"Getthatstickoutofyourbutt,MissPrissyPants."Inthesetwenty-threeraucousessaysEllistransformsherselfintoadominatrixDonnaReedtosavehermarriage,inadvertentlystealsa$795Burberrytrenchcoat,witnessesamanfakehisowndeathataparty,avoidsanecklift,andfindsablack-tiegownthatgiveshertheconfidenceofadragqueen.WhileshemayhaveleftherhomeinAlabama,marriedaNewYorker,forgottenhowtodrive,andabandonedthepuffyheadbandsofheryouth,HelenEllisisclingingtoherSouthernaccentlikemayonnaisetowhitebread,andofferingreadersahilarious,completelysingularviewonwomanhoodforbothsidesoftheMason-Dixon.Helen Ellis has a mantra: "If you don't have something nice to say, say something not-so-nice in a nice way." Say "weathered" instead of "she looks like a cake left out in the rain." Say "early-developed" instead of "brace face and B cups." And for the love of Coke Salad, always say "Sorry you saw something that offended you" instead of "Get that stick out of your butt, Miss Prissy Pants." In these twenty-three raucous essays Ellis transforms herself into a dominatrix Donna Reed to save her marriage, inadvertently steals a $795 Burberry trench coat, witnesses a man fake his own death at a party, avoids a neck lift, and finds a black-tie gown that gives her the confidence of a drag queen. While she may have left her home in Alabama, married a New Yorker, forgotten how to drive, and abandoned the puffy headbands of her youth, Helen Ellis is clinging to her Southern accent like mayonnaise to white bread, and offering readers a hilarious, completely singular view on womanhood for both sides of the Mason-Dixon.Helen Ellis has a mantra: "If you don't have something nice to say, say something not-so-nice in a nice way." Say "weathered" instead of "she looks like a cake left out in the rain." Say "early-developed" instead of "brace face and B cups." And for the love of Coke Salad, always say "Sorry you saw something that offended you" instead of "Get that stick out of your butt, Miss Prissy Pants." In these twenty-three raucous essays Ellis transforms herself into a dominatrix Donna Reed to save her marriage, inadvertently steals a $795 Burberry trench coat, witnesses a man fake his own death at a party, avoids a neck lift, and finds a black-tie gown that gives her the confidence of a drag queen. While she may have left her home in Alabama, married a New Yorker, forgotten how to drive, and abandoned the puffy headbands of her youth, Helen Ellis is clinging to her Southern accent like mayonnaise to white bread, and offering readers a hilarious, completely singular view on womanhood for both sides of the Mason-Dixon.Helen Ellis has a mantra: "If you don't have something nice to say, say something not-so-nice in a nice way." Say "weathered" instead of "she looks like a cake left out in the rain." Say "early-developed" instead of "brace face and B cups." And for the love of Coke Salad, always say "Sorry you saw something that offended you" instead of "Get that stick out of your butt, Miss Prissy Pants." In these twenty-three raucous essays Ellis transforms herself into a dominatrix Donna Reed to save her marriage, inadvertently steals a $795 Burberry trench coat, witnesses a man fake his own death at a party, avoids a neck lift, and finds a black-tie gown that gives her the confidence of a drag queen. While she may have left her home in Alabama, married a New Yorker, forgotten how to drive, and abandoned the puffy headbands of her youth, Helen Ellis is clinging to her Southern accent like mayonnaise to white bread, and offering readers a hilarious, completely singular view on womanhood for both sides of the Mason-Dixon. Helen Ellis has a mantra: "If you don't have something nice to say, say something not-so-nice in a nice way." Say "weathered" instead of "she looks like a cake left out in the rain." Say "early-developed" instead of "brace face and B cups." And for the love of Coke Salad, always say "Sorry you saw something that offended you" instead of "Get that stick out of your butt, Miss Prissy Pants." In these twenty-three raucous essays Ellis transforms herself into a dominatrix Donna Reed to save her marriage, inadvertently steals a $795 Burberry trench coat, witnesses a man fake his own death at a party, avoids a neck lift, and finds a black-tie gown that gives her the confidence of a drag queen. While she may have left her home in Alabama, married a New Yorker, forgotten how to drive, and abandoned the puffy headbands of her youth, Helen Ellis is clinging to her Southern accent like mayonnaise to white bread, and offering readers a hilarious, completely singular view on womanhood for both sides of the Mason-Dixon. The bestselling author of American Housewife is back with a fiercely funny collection of essays on marriage and manners, thank-you notes and three-ways, ghosts, gunshots, gynecology, and the Calgon-scented, onion-dipped, monogrammed art of living as a Southern Lady.

Helen Ellis has a mantra: "If you don't have something nice to say, say something not-so-nice in a nice way." Say "weathered" instead of "she looks like a cake left out in the rain." Say "early-developed" instead of "brace face and B cups." And for the love of Coke Salad, always say "Sorry you saw something that offended you" instead of "Get that stick out of your butt, Miss Prissy Pants." In these twenty-three raucous essays Ellis transforms herself into a dominatrix Donna Reed to save her marriage, inadvertently steals a $795 Burberry trench coat, witnesses a man fake his own death at a party, avoids a neck lift, and finds a black-tie gown that gives her the confidence of a drag queen. While she may have left her home in Alabama, married a New Yorker, forgotten how to drive, and abandoned the puffy headbands of her youth, Helen Ellis is clinging to her Southern accent like mayonnaise to white bread, and offering readers a hilarious, completely singular view on womanhood for both sides of the Mason-Dixon.The bestselling author of American Housewife is back with a fiercely funny collection of essays on marriage and manners, thank-you notes and three-ways, ghosts, gunshots, gynecology, and the Calgon-scented, onion-dipped, monogrammed art of living as a Southern Lady.

Helen Ellis has a mantra: "If you don't have something nice to say, say something not-so-nice in a nice way." Say "weathered" instead of "she looks like a cake left out in the rain." Say "early-developed" instead of "brace face and B cups." And for the love of Coke Salad, always say "Sorry you saw something that offended you" instead of "Get that stick out of your butt, Miss Prissy Pants." In these twenty-three raucous essays Ellis transforms herself into a dominatrix Donna Reed to save her marriage, inadvertently steals a $795 Burberry trench coat, witnesses a man fake his own death at a party, avoids a neck lift, and finds a black-tie gown that gives her the confidence of a drag queen. While she may have left her home in Alabama, married a New Yorker, forgotten how to drive, and abandoned the puffy headbands of her youth, Helen Ellis is clinging to her Southern accent like mayonnaise to white bread, and offering readers a hilarious, completely singular view on womanhood for both sides of the Mason-Dixon.The bestselling author of American Housewife is back with a fiercely funny collection of essays on marriage and manners, thank-you notes and three-ways, ghosts, gunshots, gynecology, and the Calgon-scented, onion-dipped, monogrammed art of living as a Southern Lady.

Helen Ellis has a mantra: "If you don't have something nice to say, say something not-so-nice in a nice way." Say "weathered" instead of "she looks like a cake left out in the rain." Say "early-developed" instead of "brace face and B cups." And for the love of Coke Salad, always say "Sorry you saw something that offended you" instead of "Get that stick out of your butt, Miss Prissy Pants." In these twenty-three raucous essays Ellis transforms herself into a dominatrix Donna Reed to save her marriage, inadvertently steals a $795 Burberry trench coat, witnesses a man fake his own death at a party, avoids a neck lift, and finds a black-tie gown that gives her the confidence of a drag queen. While she may have left her home in Alabama, married a New Yorker, forgotten how to drive, and abandoned the puffy headbands of her youth, Helen Ellis is clinging to her Southern accent like mayonnaise to white bread, and offering readers a hilarious, completely singular view on womanhood for both sides of the Mason-Dixon. The bestselling author of American Housewife is back with a fiercely funny collection of essays on marriage and manners, thank-you notes and three-ways, ghosts, gunshots, gynecology, and the Calgon-scented, onion-dipped, monogrammed art of living as a Southern Lady.

Helen Ellis has a mantra: "If you don't have something nice to say, say something not-so-nice in a nice way." Say "weathered" instead of "she looks like a cake left out in the rain." Say "early-developed" instead of "brace face and B cups." And for the love of Coke Salad, always say "Sorry you saw something that offended you" instead of "Get that stick out of your butt, Miss Prissy Pants." In these twenty-three raucous essays Ellis transforms herself into a dominatrix Donna Reed to save her marriage, inadvertently steals a $795 Burberry trench coat, witnesses a man fake his own death at a party, avoids a neck lift, and finds a black-tie gown that gives her the confidence of a drag queen. While she may have left her home in Alabama, married a New Yorker, forgotten how to drive, and abandoned the puffy headbands of her youth, Helen Ellis is clinging to her Southern accent like mayonnaise to white bread, and offering readers a hilarious, completely singular view on womanhood for both sides of the Mason-Dixon.