HelenEllishasamantra:"Ifyoudon'thavesomethingnicetosay,saysomethingnot-so-niceinaniceway."Say"weathered"insteadof"shelookslikeacakeleftoutintherain."Say"early-developed"insteadof"bracefaceandBcups."AndfortheloveofCokeSalad,alwayssay"Sorryyousawsomethingthatoffendedyou"insteadof"Getthatstickoutofyourbutt,MissPrissyPants."Inthesetwenty-threeraucousessaysEllistransformsherselfintoadominatrixDonnaReedtosavehermarriage,inadvertentlystealsa$795Burberrytrenchcoat,witnessesamanfakehisowndeathataparty,avoidsanecklift,andfindsablack-tiegownthatgiveshertheconfidenceofadragqueen.WhileshemayhaveleftherhomeinAlabama,marriedaNewYorker,forgottenhowtodrive,andabandonedthepuffyheadbandsofheryouth,HelenEllisisclingingtoherSouthernaccentlikemayonnaisetowhitebread,andofferingreadersahilarious,completelysingularviewonwomanhoodforbothsidesoftheMason-Dixon.HelenEllishasamantra:"Ifyoudon'thavesomethingnicetosay,saysomethingnot-so-niceinaniceway."Say"weathered"insteadof"shelookslikeacakeleftoutintherain."Say"early-developed"insteadof"bracefaceandBcups."AndfortheloveofCokeSalad,alwayssay"Sorryyousawsomethingthatoffendedyou"insteadof"Getthatstickoutofyourbutt,MissPrissyPants."Inthesetwenty-threeraucousessaysEllistransformsherselfintoadominatrixDonnaReedtosavehermarriage,inadvertentlystealsa$795Burberrytrenchcoat,witnessesamanfakehisowndeathataparty,avoidsanecklift,andfindsablack-tiegownthatgiveshertheconfidenceofadragqueen.WhileshemayhaveleftherhomeinAlabama,marriedaNewYorker,forgottenhowtodrive,andabandonedthepuffyheadbandsofheryouth,HelenEllisisclingingtoherSouthernaccentlikemayonnaisetowhitebread,andofferingreadersahilarious,completelysingularviewonwomanhoodforbothsidesoftheMason-Dixon.HelenEllishasamantra:"Ifyoudon'thavesomethingnicetosay,saysomethingnot-so-niceinaniceway."Say"weathered"insteadof"shelookslikeacakeleftoutintherain."Say"early-developed"insteadof"bracefaceandBcups."AndfortheloveofCokeSalad,alwayssay"Sorryyousawsomethingthatoffendedyou"insteadof"Getthatstickoutofyourbutt,MissPrissyPants."Inthesetwenty-threeraucousessaysEllistransformsherselfintoadominatrixDonnaReedtosavehermarriage,inadvertentlystealsa$795Burberrytrenchcoat,witnessesamanfakehisowndeathataparty,avoidsanecklift,andfindsablack-tiegownthatgiveshertheconfidenceofadragqueen.WhileshemayhaveleftherhomeinAlabama,marriedaNewYorker,forgottenhowtodrive,andabandonedthepuffyheadbandsofheryouth,HelenEllisisclingingtoherSouthernaccentlikemayonnaisetowhitebread,andofferingreadersahilarious,completelysingularviewonwomanhoodforbothsidesoftheMason-Dixon.HelenEllishasamantra:"Ifyoudon'thavesomethingnicetosay,saysomethingnot-so-niceinaniceway."Say"weathered"insteadof"shelookslikeacakeleftoutintherain."Say"early-developed"insteadof"bracefaceandBcups."AndfortheloveofCokeSalad,alwayssay"Sorryyousawsomethingthatoffendedyou"insteadof"Getthatstickoutofyourbutt,MissPrissyPants."Inthesetwenty-threeraucousessaysEllistransformsherselfintoadominatrixDonnaReedtosavehermarriage,inadvertentlystealsa$795Burberrytrenchcoat,witnessesamanfakehisowndeathataparty,avoidsanecklift,andfindsablack-tiegownthatgiveshertheconfidenceofadragqueen.WhileshemayhaveleftherhomeinAlabama,marriedaNewYorker,forgottenhowtodrive,andabandonedthepuffyheadbandsofheryouth,HelenEllisisclingingtoherSouthernaccentlikemayonnaisetowhitebread,andofferingreadersahilarious,completelysingularviewonwomanhoodforbothsidesoftheMason-Dixon.HelenEllishasamantra:"Ifyoudon'thavesomethingnicetosay,saysomethingnot-so-niceinaniceway."Say"weathered"insteadof"shelookslikeacakeleftoutintherain."Say"early-developed"insteadof"bracefaceandBcups."AndfortheloveofCokeSalad,alwayssay"Sorryyousawsomethingthatoffendedyou"insteadof"Getthatstickoutofyourbutt,MissPrissyPants."Inthesetwenty-threeraucousessaysEllistransformsherselfintoadominatrixDonnaReedtosavehermarriage,inadvertentlystealsa$795Burberrytrenchcoat,witnessesamanfakehisowndeathataparty,avoidsanecklift,andfindsablack-tiegownthatgiveshertheconfidenceofadragqueen.WhileshemayhaveleftherhomeinAlabama,marriedaNewYorker,forgottenhowtodrive,andabandonedthepuffyheadbandsofheryouth,HelenEllisisclingingtoherSouthernaccentlikemayonnaisetowhitebread,andofferingreadersahilarious,completelysingularviewonwomanhoodforbothsidesoftheMason-Dixon.HelenEllishasamantra:"Ifyoudon'thavesomethingnicetosay,saysomethingnot-so-niceinaniceway."Say"weathered"insteadof"shelookslikeacakeleftoutintherain."Say"early-developed"insteadof"bracefaceandBcups."AndfortheloveofCokeSalad,alwayssay"Sorryyousawsomethingthatoffendedyou"insteadof"Getthatstickoutofyourbutt,MissPrissyPants."Inthesetwenty-threeraucousessaysEllistransformsherselfintoadominatrixDonnaReedtosavehermarriage,inadvertentlystealsa$795Burberrytrenchcoat,witnessesamanfakehisowndeathataparty,avoidsanecklift,andfindsablack-tiegownthatgiveshertheconfidenceofadragqueen.WhileshemayhaveleftherhomeinAlabama,marriedaNewYorker,forgottenhowtodrive,andabandonedthepuffyheadbandsofheryouth,HelenEllisisclingingtoherSouthernaccentlikemayonnaisetowhitebread,andofferingreadersahilarious,completelysingularviewonwomanhoodforbothsidesoftheMason-Dixon.HelenEllishasamantra:"Ifyoudon'thavesomethingnicetosay,saysomethingnot-so-niceinaniceway."Say"weathered"insteadof"shelookslikeacakeleftoutintherain."Say"early-developed"insteadof"bracefaceandBcups."AndfortheloveofCokeSalad,alwayssay"Sorryyousawsomethingthatoffendedyou"insteadof"Getthatstickoutofyourbutt,MissPrissyPants."Inthesetwenty-threeraucousessaysEllistransformsherselfintoadominatrixDonnaReedtosavehermarriage,inadvertentlystealsa$795Burberrytrenchcoat,witnessesamanfakehisowndeathataparty,avoidsanecklift,andfindsablack-tiegownthatgiveshertheconfidenceofadragqueen.WhileshemayhaveleftherhomeinAlabama,marriedaNewYorker,forgottenhowtodrive,andabandonedthepuffyheadbandsofheryouth,HelenEllisisclingingtoherSouthernaccentlikemayonnaisetowhitebread,andofferingreadersahilarious,completelysingularviewonwomanhoodforbothsidesoftheMason-Dixon.HelenEllishasamantra:"Ifyoudon'thavesomethingnicetosay,saysomethingnot-so-niceinaniceway."Say"weathered"insteadof"shelookslikeacakeleftoutintherain."Say"early-developed"insteadof"bracefaceandBcups."AndfortheloveofCokeSalad,alwayssay"Sorryyousawsomethingthatoffendedyou"insteadof"Getthatstickoutofyourbutt,MissPrissyPants."Inthesetwenty-threeraucousessaysEllistransformsherselfintoadominatrixDonnaReedtosavehermarriage,inadvertentlystealsa$795Burberrytrenchcoat,witnessesamanfakehisowndeathataparty,avoidsanecklift,andfindsablack-tiegownthatgiveshertheconfidenceofadragqueen.WhileshemayhaveleftherhomeinAlabama,marriedaNewYorker,forgottenhowtodrive,andabandonedthepuffyheadbandsofheryouth,HelenEllisisclingingtoherSouthernaccentlikemayonnaisetowhitebread,andofferingreadersahilarious,completelysingularviewonwomanhoodforbothsidesoftheMason-Dixon.HelenEllishasamantra:"Ifyoudon'thavesomethingnicetosay,saysomethingnot-so-niceinaniceway."Say"weathered"insteadof"shelookslikeacakeleftoutintherain."Say"early-developed"insteadof"bracefaceandBcups."AndfortheloveofCokeSalad,alwayssay"Sorryyousawsomethingthatoffendedyou"insteadof"Getthatstickoutofyourbutt,MissPrissyPants."Inthesetwenty-threeraucousessaysEllistransformsherselfintoadominatrixDonnaReedtosavehermarriage,inadvertentlystealsa$795Burberrytrenchcoat,witnessesamanfakehisowndeathataparty,avoidsanecklift,andfindsablack-tiegownthatgiveshertheconfidenceofadragqueen.WhileshemayhaveleftherhomeinAlabama,marriedaNewYorker,forgottenhowtodrive,andabandonedthepuffyheadbandsofheryouth,HelenEllisisclingingtoherSouthernaccentlikemayonnaisetowhitebread,andofferingreadersahilarious,completelysingularviewonwomanhoodforbothsidesoftheMason-Dixon.HelenEllishasamantra:"Ifyoudon'thavesomethingnicetosay,saysomethingnot-so-niceinaniceway."Say"weathered"insteadof"shelookslikeacakeleftoutintherain."Say"early-developed"insteadof"bracefaceandBcups."AndfortheloveofCokeSalad,alwayssay"Sorryyousawsomethingthatoffendedyou"insteadof"Getthatstickoutofyourbutt,MissPrissyPants."Inthesetwenty-threeraucousessaysEllistransformsherselfintoadominatrixDonnaReedtosavehermarriage,inadvertentlystealsa$795Burberrytrenchcoat,witnessesamanfakehisowndeathataparty,avoidsanecklift,andfindsablack-tiegownthatgiveshertheconfidenceofadragqueen.WhileshemayhaveleftherhomeinAlabama,marriedaNewYorker,forgottenhowtodrive,andabandonedthepuffyheadbandsofheryouth,HelenEllisisclingingtoherSouthernaccentlikemayonnaisetowhitebread,andofferingreadersahilarious,completelysingularviewonwomanhoodforbothsidesoftheMason-Dixon.HelenEllishasamantra:"Ifyoudon'thavesomethingnicetosay,saysomethingnot-so-niceinaniceway."Say"weathered"insteadof"shelookslikeacakeleftoutintherain."Say"early-developed"insteadof"bracefaceandBcups."AndfortheloveofCokeSalad,alwayssay"Sorryyousawsomethingthatoffendedyou"insteadof"Getthatstickoutofyourbutt,MissPrissyPants."Inthesetwenty-threeraucousessaysEllistransformsherselfintoadominatrixDonnaReedtosavehermarriage,inadvertentlystealsa$795Burberrytrenchcoat,witnessesamanfakehisowndeathataparty,avoidsanecklift,andfindsablack-tiegownthatgiveshertheconfidenceofadragqueen.WhileshemayhaveleftherhomeinAlabama,marriedaNewYorker,forgottenhowtodrive,andabandonedthepuffyheadbandsofheryouth,HelenEllisisclingingtoherSouthernaccentlikemayonnaisetowhitebread,andofferingreadersahilarious,completelysingularviewonwomanhoodforbothsidesoftheMason-Dixon.HelenEllishasamantra:"Ifyoudon'thavesomethingnicetosay,saysomethingnot-so-niceinaniceway."Say"weathered"insteadof"shelookslikeacakeleftoutintherain."Say"early-developed"insteadof"bracefaceandBcups."AndfortheloveofCokeSalad,alwayssay"Sorryyousawsomethingthatoffendedyou"insteadof"Getthatstickoutofyourbutt,MissPrissyPants."Inthesetwenty-threeraucousessaysEllistransformsherselfintoadominatrixDonnaReedtosavehermarriage,inadvertentlystealsa$795Burberrytrenchcoat,witnessesamanfakehisowndeathataparty,avoidsanecklift,andfindsablack-tiegownthatgiveshertheconfidenceofadragqueen.WhileshemayhaveleftherhomeinAlabama,marriedaNewYorker,forgottenhowtodrive,andabandonedthepuffyheadbandsofheryouth,HelenEllisisclingingtoherSouthernaccentlikemayonnaisetowhitebread,andofferingreadersahilarious,completelysingularviewonwomanhoodforbothsidesoftheMason-Dixon.HelenEllishasamantra:"Ifyoudon'thavesomethingnicetosay,saysomethingnot-so-niceinaniceway."Say"weathered"insteadof"shelookslikeacakeleftoutintherain."Say"early-developed"insteadof"bracefaceandBcups."AndfortheloveofCokeSalad,alwayssay"Sorryyousawsomethingthatoffendedyou"insteadof"Getthatstickoutofyourbutt,MissPrissyPants."Inthesetwenty-threeraucousessaysEllistransformsherselfintoadominatrixDonnaReedtosavehermarriage,inadvertentlystealsa$795Burberrytrenchcoat,witnessesamanfakehisowndeathataparty,avoidsanecklift,andfindsablack-tiegownthatgiveshertheconfidenceofadragqueen.WhileshemayhaveleftherhomeinAlabama,marriedaNewYorker,forgottenhowtodrive,andabandonedthepuffyheadbandsofheryouth,HelenEllisisclingingtoherSouthernaccentlikemayonnaisetowhitebread,andofferingreadersahilarious,completelysingularviewonwomanhoodforbothsidesoftheMason-Dixon.HelenEllishasamantra:"Ifyoudon'thavesomethingnicetosay,saysomethingnot-so-niceinaniceway."Say"weathered"insteadof"shelookslikeacakeleftoutintherain."Say"early-developed"insteadof"bracefaceandBcups."AndfortheloveofCokeSalad,alwayssay"Sorryyousawsomethingthatoffendedyou"insteadof"Getthatstickoutofyourbutt,MissPrissyPants."Inthesetwenty-threeraucousessaysEllistransformsherselfintoadominatrixDonnaReedtosavehermarriage,inadvertentlystealsa$795Burberrytrenchcoat,witnessesamanfakehisowndeathataparty,avoidsanecklift,andfindsablack-tiegownthatgiveshertheconfidenceofadragqueen.WhileshemayhaveleftherhomeinAlabama,marriedaNewYorker,forgottenhowtodrive,andabandonedthepuffyheadbandsofheryouth,HelenEllisisclingingtoherSouthernaccentlikemayonnaisetowhitebread,andofferingreadersahilarious,completelysingularviewonwomanhoodforbothsidesoftheMason-Dixon.HelenEllishasamantra:"Ifyoudon'thavesomethingnicetosay,saysomethingnot-so-niceinaniceway."Say"weathered"insteadof"shelookslikeacakeleftoutintherain."Say"early-developed"insteadof"bracefaceandBcups."AndfortheloveofCokeSalad,alwayssay"Sorryyousawsomethingthatoffendedyou"insteadof"Getthatstickoutofyourbutt,MissPrissyPants."Inthesetwenty-threeraucousessaysEllistransformsherselfintoadominatrixDonnaReedtosavehermarriage,inadvertentlystealsa$795Burberrytrenchcoat,witnessesamanfakehisowndeathataparty,avoidsanecklift,andfindsablack-tiegownthatgiveshertheconfidenceofadragqueen.WhileshemayhaveleftherhomeinAlabama,marriedaNewYorker,forgottenhowtodrive,andabandonedthepuffyheadbandsofheryouth,HelenEllisisclingingtoherSouthernaccentlikemayonnaisetowhitebread,andofferingreadersahilarious,completelysingularviewonwomanhoodforbothsidesoftheMason-Dixon.HelenEllishasamantra:"Ifyoudon'thavesomethingnicetosay,saysomethingnot-so-niceinaniceway."Say"weathered"insteadof"shelookslikeacakeleftoutintherain."Say"early-developed"insteadof"bracefaceandBcups."AndfortheloveofCokeSalad,alwayssay"Sorryyousawsomethingthatoffendedyou"insteadof"Getthatstickoutofyourbutt,MissPrissyPants."Inthesetwenty-threeraucousessaysEllistransformsherselfintoadominatrixDonnaReedtosavehermarriage,inadvertentlystealsa$795Burberrytrenchcoat,witnessesamanfakehisowndeathataparty,avoidsanecklift,andfindsablack-tiegownthatgiveshertheconfidenceofadragqueen.WhileshemayhaveleftherhomeinAlabama,marriedaNewYorker,forgottenhowtodrive,andabandonedthepuffyheadbandsofheryouth,HelenEllisisclingingtoherSouthernaccentlikemayonnaisetowhitebread,andofferingreadersahilarious,completelysingularviewonwomanhoodforbothsidesoftheMason-Dixon.Helen Ellis has a mantra: "If you don't have something nice to say, say something not-so-nice in a nice way." Say "weathered" instead of "she looks like a cake left out in the rain." Say "early-developed" instead of "brace face and B cups." And for the love of Coke Salad, always say "Sorry you saw something that offended you" instead of "Get that stick out of your butt, Miss Prissy Pants." In these twenty-three raucous essays Ellis transforms herself into a dominatrix Donna Reed to save her marriage, inadvertently steals a $795 Burberry trench coat, witnesses a man fake his own death at a party, avoids a neck lift, and finds a black-tie gown that gives her the confidence of a drag queen. While she may have left her home in Alabama, married a New Yorker, forgotten how to drive, and abandoned the puffy headbands of her youth, Helen Ellis is clinging to her Southern accent like mayonnaise to white bread, and offering readers a hilarious, completely singular view on womanhood for both sides of the Mason-Dixon.Helen Ellis has a mantra: "If you don't have something nice to say, say something not-so-nice in a nice way." Say "weathered" instead of "she looks like a cake left out in the rain." Say "early-developed" instead of "brace face and B cups." And for the love of Coke Salad, always say "Sorry you saw something that offended you" instead of "Get that stick out of your butt, Miss Prissy Pants." In these twenty-three raucous essays Ellis transforms herself into a dominatrix Donna Reed to save her marriage, inadvertently steals a $795 Burberry trench coat, witnesses a man fake his own death at a party, avoids a neck lift, and finds a black-tie gown that gives her the confidence of a drag queen. While she may have left her home in Alabama, married a New Yorker, forgotten how to drive, and abandoned the puffy headbands of her youth, Helen Ellis is clinging to her Southern accent like mayonnaise to white bread, and offering readers a hilarious, completely singular view on womanhood for both sides of the Mason-Dixon.Helen Ellis has a mantra: "If you don't have something nice to say, say something not-so-nice in a nice way." Say "weathered" instead of "she looks like a cake left out in the rain." Say "early-developed" instead of "brace face and B cups." And for the love of Coke Salad, always say "Sorry you saw something that offended you" instead of "Get that stick out of your butt, Miss Prissy Pants." In these twenty-three raucous essays Ellis transforms herself into a dominatrix Donna Reed to save her marriage, inadvertently steals a $795 Burberry trench coat, witnesses a man fake his own death at a party, avoids a neck lift, and finds a black-tie gown that gives her the confidence of a drag queen. While she may have left her home in Alabama, married a New Yorker, forgotten how to drive, and abandoned the puffy headbands of her youth, Helen Ellis is clinging to her Southern accent like mayonnaise to white bread, and offering readers a hilarious, completely singular view on womanhood for both sides of the Mason-Dixon.
Helen Ellis has a mantra: "If you don't have something nice to say, say something not-so-nice in a nice way." Say "weathered" instead of "she looks like a cake left out in the rain." Say "early-developed" instead of "brace face and B cups." And for the love of Coke Salad, always say "Sorry you saw something that offended you" instead of "Get that stick out of your butt, Miss Prissy Pants." In these twenty-three raucous essays Ellis transforms herself into a dominatrix Donna Reed to save her marriage, inadvertently steals a $795 Burberry trench coat, witnesses a man fake his own death at a party, avoids a neck lift, and finds a black-tie gown that gives her the confidence of a drag queen. While she may have left her home in Alabama, married a New Yorker, forgotten how to drive, and abandoned the puffy headbands of her youth, Helen Ellis is clinging to her Southern accent like mayonnaise to white bread, and offering readers a hilarious, completely singular view on womanhood for both sides of the Mason-Dixon.
The bestselling author of American Housewife is back with a fiercely funny collection of essays on marriage and manners, thank-you notes and three-ways, ghosts, gunshots, gynecology, and the Calgon-scented, onion-dipped, monogrammed art of living as a Southern Lady.
Helen Ellis has a mantra: "If you don't have something nice to say, say something not-so-nice in a nice way." Say "weathered" instead of "she looks like a cake left out in the rain." Say "early-developed" instead of "brace face and B cups." And for the love of Coke Salad, always say "Sorry you saw something that offended you" instead of "Get that stick out of your butt, Miss Prissy Pants." In these twenty-three raucous essays Ellis transforms herself into a dominatrix Donna Reed to save her marriage, inadvertently steals a $795 Burberry trench coat, witnesses a man fake his own death at a party, avoids a neck lift, and finds a black-tie gown that gives her the confidence of a drag queen. While she may have left her home in Alabama, married a New Yorker, forgotten how to drive, and abandoned the puffy headbands of her youth, Helen Ellis is clinging to her Southern accent like mayonnaise to white bread, and offering readers a hilarious, completely singular view on womanhood for both sides of the Mason-Dixon.The bestselling author of American Housewife is back with a fiercely funny collection of essays on marriage and manners, thank-you notes and three-ways, ghosts, gunshots, gynecology, and the Calgon-scented, onion-dipped, monogrammed art of living as a Southern Lady.
Helen Ellis has a mantra: "If you don't have something nice to say, say something not-so-nice in a nice way." Say "weathered" instead of "she looks like a cake left out in the rain." Say "early-developed" instead of "brace face and B cups." And for the love of Coke Salad, always say "Sorry you saw something that offended you" instead of "Get that stick out of your butt, Miss Prissy Pants." In these twenty-three raucous essays Ellis transforms herself into a dominatrix Donna Reed to save her marriage, inadvertently steals a $795 Burberry trench coat, witnesses a man fake his own death at a party, avoids a neck lift, and finds a black-tie gown that gives her the confidence of a drag queen. While she may have left her home in Alabama, married a New Yorker, forgotten how to drive, and abandoned the puffy headbands of her youth, Helen Ellis is clinging to her Southern accent like mayonnaise to white bread, and offering readers a hilarious, completely singular view on womanhood for both sides of the Mason-Dixon.The bestselling author of American Housewife is back with a fiercely funny collection of essays on marriage and manners, thank-you notes and three-ways, ghosts, gunshots, gynecology, and the Calgon-scented, onion-dipped, monogrammed art of living as a Southern Lady.
Helen Ellis has a mantra: "If you don't have something nice to say, say something not-so-nice in a nice way." Say "weathered" instead of "she looks like a cake left out in the rain." Say "early-developed" instead of "brace face and B cups." And for the love of Coke Salad, always say "Sorry you saw something that offended you" instead of "Get that stick out of your butt, Miss Prissy Pants." In these twenty-three raucous essays Ellis transforms herself into a dominatrix Donna Reed to save her marriage, inadvertently steals a $795 Burberry trench coat, witnesses a man fake his own death at a party, avoids a neck lift, and finds a black-tie gown that gives her the confidence of a drag queen. While she may have left her home in Alabama, married a New Yorker, forgotten how to drive, and abandoned the puffy headbands of her youth, Helen Ellis is clinging to her Southern accent like mayonnaise to white bread, and offering readers a hilarious, completely singular view on womanhood for both sides of the Mason-Dixon.
The bestselling author of American Housewife is back with a fiercely funny collection of essays on marriage and manners, thank-you notes and three-ways, ghosts, gunshots, gynecology, and the Calgon-scented, onion-dipped, monogrammed art of living as a Southern Lady.
Helen Ellis has a mantra: "If you don't have something nice to say, say something not-so-nice in a nice way." Say "weathered" instead of "she looks like a cake left out in the rain." Say "early-developed" instead of "brace face and B cups." And for the love of Coke Salad, always say "Sorry you saw something that offended you" instead of "Get that stick out of your butt, Miss Prissy Pants." In these twenty-three raucous essays Ellis transforms herself into a dominatrix Donna Reed to save her marriage, inadvertently steals a $795 Burberry trench coat, witnesses a man fake his own death at a party, avoids a neck lift, and finds a black-tie gown that gives her the confidence of a drag queen. While she may have left her home in Alabama, married a New Yorker, forgotten how to drive, and abandoned the puffy headbands of her youth, Helen Ellis is clinging to her Southern accent like mayonnaise to white bread, and offering readers a hilarious, completely singular view on womanhood for both sides of the Mason-Dixon.
From the creator of the iconic "Cathy" comic strip comes her first collection of funny, wise, poignant, and incredibly honest essays about being a woman in what she lovingly calls "the panini generation."
As the creator of "Cathy," Cathy Guisewite found her way into the hearts of readers more than forty years ago, and has been there ever since. Her hilarious and deeply relatable look at the challenges of womanhood in a changing world became a cultural touchstone for women everywhere. Now Guisewite returns with her signature wit and warmth in this debut essay collection about another time of big transition, when everything starts changing and disappearing without permission: aging parents, aging children, aging self stuck in the middle.
With her uniquely wry and funny admissions and insights, Guisewite unearths the humor and horror of everything from the mundane (trying to introduce her parents to TiVo and facing four decades' worth of unorganized photos) to the profound (finding a purpose post-retirement, helping parents downsize their lives, and declaring freedrom from all those things that hold us back). No longer confined to the limits of four comic panels, Guisewite holds out her hand in prose form and becomes a reassuring companion for those on the threshold of "what happens next." Heartfelt and humane and always cathartic, Fifty Things That Aren't My Fault is ideal reading for mothers, daughters, and anyone who is caught somewhere in between.
